I see that our glorious london Leader has carried on with his crusade against 4×4 drivers by next imposing a £25 a day congestion charge even if you are a resident.

The plan is of course to get us all to drive around in those toytown smart cars, which are very family friendly and excellent for taking long trips and holidays in. Have to watch out for White Van Man and HGVs though they can drive over you and not even feel a bump.

Never mind about your freedom of choice as long as the the lord and master of London is obeyed.

PS.   There is an election next year and I know who I will not be voting for!

Lawrence 

I see that since I last made a post about this useless talentless cretin he has been to court on even more drugs charges.

The outstanding fairness of our Judicial system works in his favour again and again.

He is the type of celebrity (Joke) that would get Re-hab FOR MURDER! due to some pathetic excuse.

Only good news is that Kate at least for the time being has thrown the tosser out.

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

‘I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the

convent.’

‘Thank God,’ said an elderly nun at the back. ‘I’m so tired of

chardonnay.’

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We

need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER

listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you

CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you

always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’

The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think

I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’

The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels

like when I’m driving.’

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, “Hello. Mrs. Ward, please.”

“Speaking.”

“Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband’s biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband’s. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible.”

“What do you mean?” asked Mrs. Ward nervously.

“Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s, and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your husband’s.”

“That’s dreadful! Can’t you do the test again?” asked Mrs. Ward.

Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do now?” asked Mrs. Ward.

“The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him.”

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks
into Tesco with her two kids in tow,
 

screaming obscenities at them all the way through
the entrance. 

The door greeter says, “Good morning and welcome
to Tesco, nice children you’ve got there.
 

Are they twins?” 

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: 

“Of course they bloody aren’t! The oldest is nine and the
youngest is seven..

Why the hell would you think they’re twins?….. 

Do you really think they look alike, you dickhead?” 

“Absolutely not,” replies the greeter, 

“I just can’t believe anyone would shag you twice!”

A guy invites his best buddy over to his new house for dinner.
The friend arrives and they enjoy a superb three course dinner, prepared by a chef, and served with vintage wine by a butler. Also they are entertained by a tiny piano player at a miniature grand piano.
The friend is very impressed. “Wow,” he says, “what happened, did you win the lottery? And what’s with the tiny piano player?”
“No, I didn’t win the lottery, but I was cleaning out the attic in the old house and found an antique lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was to be fabulously wealthy. The second wish was misunderstood.”
“So … what was your second wish?”
“Well, let’s put it this away — I did not ask for a 9 inch pianist!”

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According to Gobala, these themes are “plug-in-profit” themes, which means all you need to do is insert your Adsense ID and Clickbank ID, and you’re in the money making zone.

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PS.You will love this!

Lawrence